Bath towels can be a pretty costly investment for some people, especially if you have more than one bathroom in your home. Some people carefully search out just the right towels and may pay a hefty price, including shipping if they find just what they want online. Some people like to buy towels that are made of certain types of material such as Egyptian or Brazilian cotton because they are softer and more absorbent. However, these bath towels are more expensive, so you want to take good care of your towels to keep them looking like-new and extend their usefulness.

One thing you will want to do after purchasing new towels is to wash them before use. This may not seem to make a lot of sense, but you never know how many people touched the towels at the warehouse or in the store before you bought them. While they may not still contain germs and bacteria, they may be a bit dirty. Also, some new towels contain chemicals and oils that may make them less absorbent until they are washed off. To do this, wash the towels in warm water with ½ cup of detergent, and 1 cup of white vinegar. The white vinegar will get rid of that new towel smell that some towels have after you purchase them.

Another part of caring for your towels is considering how often you should wash them. After all, frequent washing can wear the towels out quicker. But, you also want to make sure your towels are clean to prevent spreading germs. How much you wash your bath towels is a personal choice. Some people know they work jobs that require them to get dirty each day. Although you wash all the dirt off in the bath or shower, you will still have skin cells and oils on your towels. In cases such as this, you should wash your towels after ever couple of uses if not every use.

People who don’t get as dirty during the day may want to use their bath towels several times before washing. Just make sure after you use the towel, you spread it out well on the shower curtain rod or towel rack to allow it to dry properly. Either way, you should wash your bath towels every week to make sure you remove grim and germs.

Hand towels and washcloths will require more frequent washing because they are using to remove makeup and may contain more oils and lotions than bath towels. Because these are less expensive than bath towels, you may want to purchase more when you initially buy your bath towel set to make sure you have replacements when they start to show wear and tear.

Proper washing will help keep your bath towels looking like-new as well. Make sure you separate towels by color and don’t overstuff the washer when loading it. Overstuffing can lead to tears in the towels because there isn’t enough room plus you can put a strain on your washing machine. Avoid using fabric softener when you wash your towels as it can reduce the absorbency of the towels.

When you wash towels, you will want to wash only towels. Don’t mix in clothing or bedding because chances are those are of a lighter weight and will dry before the towels, which will cause wrinkling. Dry towels on medium heat and make sure they are completely dry before removing them from the dryer.

Proper care can extend the lifespan of your bath towels as well as ensuring that you are keeping your family and visitors safe from germs and bacteria.

As a stay at home mom I need to be creative in the way I use everyday household items. For more ideas on how to use bathroom towels in new and different ways please visit my website.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Katie_Hamilton

http://EzineArticles.com/?Caring-For-Your-Bath-Towels&id=4676857

Share/Bookmark

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Sleep Deprivation Can Kill You Faster Than Starvation
By Alexandra Burlacu

Try as you might, it is impossible to go without sleep, sooner or later you’re bound to fall asleep. But why is sleep indispensable?

There have been various experiments conducted on lab rats, leading to a conclusion: complete sleep deprivation leads to death even faster than starvation. Sleeplessness can destroy the body, and after a certain point it’s virtually impossible to prevent sleep.

If you’re sleep deprived, you first become irritable, then forgetful. Without sleep it gets harder and harder to concentrate, and the simplest task becomes impossible to complete, not to mention something more complex, like driving a car. Extended periods of sleep deprivation also lead to reduced immune system response, fluctuating blood pressure and changes in metabolism.

However, sleep can’t really be utterly understood; there ‘s no obvious chemical change, such as the buildup of carbon dioxide when we don ‘t breathe, to explain its effects. The body simply shuts down when we sleep, while the brain keeps going.

More than fifty years ago, scientists discovered two distinct brain stages during sleep: rapid-eye-movement (REM) sleep and non- REM sleep. While in the REM sleep, obviously, the eyes move rapidly beneath their lids, during non-REM sleep the brain seems to go into a slower state. Breathing and heartbeat stay regular, and few dreams occur.

During REM sleep, the brain is very active and neurons seem to react almost as they do when awake, and dreams occur in this part of the cycle. When we dream, the parts of the brain that control motion in the body operate almost as they do in the waking state; however, neurotransmitters that carry signals from the brain to the muscles are inhibited, except for those linked to motion of the eyes.

Non-REM sleep is a period of lower metabolic rate and lower brain temperature. If during REM sleep the neurotransmitters are turned off, but the cells function normally, during non-REM sleep the brain can restock enzymes necessary for functioning properly. REM sleep periods may be the time during which the key links in the neurons can be restored, and, according to the researchers, these links control mood and learning. Moreover, sleep is also necessary for the brain to organize memories and data from the day, and to develop as the rest of the body is cut out of the process.

Bottom line, you really can’t go without sleep. You can last a while without food, but complete sleep deprivation will kill you without a doubt. You need sleep to function and survive, and without it the brain cannot do anything. Even though sometimes we wish the day had more hours, and we ignore sleep for other “more important” activities, sleep deprivation will only make everything worse.

Alexandra is the editor of this article, but she also started a new project about how to use a construction project-management software. This is a website which also provides more info about how to attend a project management class.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alexandra_Burlacu

http://EzineArticles.com/?Sleep-Deprivation-Can-Kill-You-Faster-Than-Starvation&id=4679476

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. Kill NASA - Kill Dreams! Kill NASA – Kill Dreams! By Pat Redmond It started...
2. Alien Abduction Or Sleep Paralysis? Alien Abduction Or Sleep Paralysis? By Barry Burdette Since the...
3. Obama plan: Space faster, more often Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Rules For Replenishing Fluids While Running
By Angie Spencer

Sweating is probably something athletes think about more than the average person. Sweating during exercise means that your body is an efficient cooler and fit people often produce more sweat but lose less sodium (which is retained in the bloodstream). Fit people can also cope with dehydration better than their non-exercising counterparts.

The Gatorade Sports Science Institution found that in 85 degree temperature with 4% humidity the average runner loses 2-4 pounds of sweat/hour. It is vital that we are knowledgeable and careful to replace body fluids as the temperature and humidity increase. When humidity rises, there is a decrease in sweat evaporation from the body resulting in less efficient cooling. The body can acclimate to heat and humidity, but it often takes up to six weeks for adaptation. That is why it is easier to run in the warmer weather at the end of the summer as opposed to the beginning.

With all this sweating that goes on while exercising, how can we make sure that we are replacing these fluids adequately?

1. Don’t wait until you’re thirsty to replenish. Thirst isn’t always a good indicator of dehydration. By the time you feel thirsty, you may already be low on fluids. Signs of dehydration include thirst, increased heart rate, dark, golden colored urine, decreased body weight, and poor skin turgor. A way to check skin turgor is to pinch the back of your hand. When you let go the skin should bounce back into place within a couple of seconds. If it takes more than 3 seconds to return to normal or you see the indentation from your fingers, you are dehydrated.

2. The best bet to accomplish adequate hydration is to drink before, during, and after your run. Let the duration, intensity, and climate conditions guide the amount.

3. A problem that has been highlighted in recent years is over hydration (hyponatremia). In 2004 Runner’s World reported that 13% of runners in the Boston Marathon had hyponatremia. The body’s need for fluid is unique. If you get too little dehydration results, too much fluid and the blood salt level drops resulting in overhydration. Signs of this are clear, dilute urine, bloating, a sloshing feeling in your stomach, weight gain, and more seriously brain swelling and seizures.

To see how to calculate your body’s fluid need click on the link below.

Angie Spencer is an avid marathoner who ran over 800 miles in 2009. Get the free audio gift, “The Seven Pillars of Successful Marathon Training” to help you get started with your marathon training today by visiting http://marathontrainingacademy.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angie_Spencer

http://EzineArticles.com/?Rules-For-Replenishing-Fluids-While-Running&id=4663070

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. The 5 Healthy Benefits of Daily Running The 5 Healthy Benefits of Daily Running By Joseph Pressley...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

The Top 8 Excuses For Poor Health & Fitness and How to Overcome Them!
By Ryan Fraser

Here are the top 8 excuses for avoiding a real commitment to better health and fitness. As a personal trainer I have heard them all. As you can see they all have solutions and they all relate back to the fact that if one is truly committed – there are no excuses. These things may cause you to miss a workout or two – but they should never stand in the way of something you really want and something as positive as better health and fitness.

# 1 EXCUSE = “I HAVE NO TIME!!!”

# 1 SOLUTION = MAKE TIME! That may sound too simple but this comes down to having the attitude that your health and fitness time is a priority. Book it in like an appointment and keep it like you would any other important appointment. Or make a real appointment to see a trainer! Sure things come up – you may miss the odd training session – so then make another time! We cannot save time – but we can choose how we spend it! There are 168 hours in a week – all you need is 3! Presidents, prime ministers and Mother’s of 6 make time and so can anyone who tries.

# 2 EXCUSE = “IT’S BORING GOING TO THE GYM OR EXERCISING”

# 2 SOLUTION = A If you don’t enjoy it – you probably aren’t getting results! How can you not enjoy feeling more alive? Set small – achievable goals so that you can see progress! B Change your attitude! You get to choose what you enjoy or don’t – a feeling is not forced upon you but developed by your own thoughts and the way you choose to perceive. Try reading a self-help book! C See a trainer, try some classes, workout with a friend, play some sport, walk in a park – all you need to do is move and there a thousand options for anyone who’s looking.

# 3 EXCUSE = “I CAN’T AFFORD A GYM OR TRAINER”

# 3 SOLUTION = BULL-DUST! If you ever question how much you may be spending on your health and fitness – try questioning some of the others things you

spend money on. Drinking? Smoking? Your car? Clothes? Eating out? Your Phone? Coffee? Are these more important than your one and only body? And last time I checked going for a walk in the park or doing some push ups in your back yard doesn’t cost a cent.

# 4 EXCUSE = “I DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY – I’M TOO UNFIT TO GO TO THE GYM”

# 4 SOLUTION = The energy will not just come to you. You have to earn it by investing it! The more energy you expend the more energy you will have! You don’t have to run a marathon in week 3 of “your new regime”. You just have to start from where you now are and move safely and progressively to where you want to be and it does not have to cause any pain!

# 5 EXCUSE = “I AM JUST NOT MOTIVATED”

# 5 SOLUTION = REASON! Find a reason! “Motivation is a fire from within”! You have to have your reasons and hold them high! It is natural to go up and down but keep

trying and you will win! If you accept that statement to be your truth you are losing to your own philosophy and it is a very bad philosophy/attitude and it is one that you have to change if you will ever change. The first change is always mental!

# 6 EXCUSE = “I AM TOO OLD AND HAVE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE”

# 6 SOLUTION = So if you’re old you should be wise enough to know that fear can be an irrational servant. If you allowed the attitude of “I’ve never done it before” to guide your decisions you would have never walked, never talked, never made friends, never had sex, never got a job, never got a car, never got married, never had kids, never travelled, never tasted fine foods or wines and pretty much never done anything. Old dogs don’t have to learn “new tricks” to enjoy better health and fitness (most things involved are quite natural and normal)- but they do have to have an open mind.

# 7 EXCUSE = “I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHERE TO START”

# 7 SOLUTION = Start at home or with a friend or go to a personal trainer or gym classes or a great gym where you get a personalised program. Any respectable fitness professional will only meet you where you are at and will guide you accordingly but if you can’t access a trainer find a knowledgeable friend or colleague or join a group offering some guidance. It’s not rocket science but some guidance will help.

# 8 EXCUSE = “I HAVE INJURIES OR ILLNESS”

# 8 SOLUTION = Then you do need to be careful. Seek professional medical AND fitness assistance from someone that knows what they are doing (that includes medical and fitness people – there are good and bad in both professions). Even still in most cases of injury, illness and disease – improvements can be made and better health and fitness can be enjoyed.

Most excuses are in your head and require a change of attitude and maybe a little problem solving.

Before physical change there must be mental change. Embrace it!

For more health and fitness tips contact Ryan at http://www.focusfit.com.au

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ryan_Fraser

http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Top-8-Excuses-For-Poor-Health-and-Fitness-and-How-to-Overcome-Them!&id=4452270

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. Health and Longevity Health and Longevity By Fernando Rio As we all know,...
2. Tips For Fitness Tips For Fitness By Lere P. Adiatu You should drink...
3. Achieving Optimum Health Achieving Optimum Health By Alex Ryan Nothing matters to me...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Physical Wellness to Improve Your Quality of Life the Natural Way
By Tony Devere Anderson

You’ve most likely heard the term physical wellness, if you are the kind of person who likes to keep up with the latest trends. And we all know that weight loss and dietary plans have been the talk of the town for years.

It seems like every week there’s a new book that comes out with a kooky plan to keep you in shape. In this kind of environment, if you want to keep in shape, lose weight, and live longer, then you need to follow a plan that is healthy and natural. This means that you shouldn’t fall for tricks that involve pills and weird diets that don’t even seem to make sense.

One of the first benefits of achieving physical wellness that you’ll recognize is that your mood improves. This doesn’t just mean that you’re a bit happier, or that you’re less often in a bad mood. This means that you feel better about yourself all of the time. When you get into shape and lose weight the natural, smart way, you’re going to feel. Better than you could possibly imagine. Before you know it, you’ll be making new friends, feeling more ambitious, and refusing to tell yourself that you can’t do something. A natural way of getting in shape will make your body feel fresher, younger, and stronger.

Another benefit of wellness is being able to live longer and do more. If you’re the kind of person who is out of breath after climbing a few flights of stairs, then you know how frustrating being out of shape can be. If you’ve tried some of the crazy diets and weight loss plans out there, then you know how little these help. What you need is a plan for wellness that puts your body in top form without sacrificing the great feeling of being in shape in a natural way.

When it comes to physical wellness, you’re the person in charge. You have to be the one to take control of your own wellness plan. This means being responsible for what you put into your body and how you treat it. The best way to make sure that you’re being good to yourself while you get into shape is to only do what’s natural and what makes sense.

Don’t fall for crazy plans that seem impossible, such as losing 30 pounds in 30 days. Live up to your potential, but do so in the way with which your body is comfortable.

http://www.the-best-way-to-lose-weight.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tony_Devere_Anderson

http://EzineArticles.com/?Physical-Wellness-to-Improve-Your-Quality-of-Life-the-Natural-Way&id=4449425

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. Health and Longevity Health and Longevity By Fernando Rio As we all know,...
2. Nashville Recovers From the Largest Natural Disasters Floods in Tennessee History Photo from fOTOGLIF Nashville Recovers From the Largest Natural Disasters...
3. The Truth About Bladder Weakness - You Don't Have to Live With It The Truth About Bladder Weakness – You Don’t Have to...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Achieving Optimum Health
By Alex Ryan

Nothing matters to me as much as my health. As long as my health is up to what it should be then I am very happy. I would like to think that it is not just me that thinks this way. Taking control of my health and making sure that I keep on top of it is the best way to make sure I stay healthy.

There are certain things that you can do to make sure that you remain healthy or at least get on the right track to becoming healthy.

Having the correct diet in place is a sure fire way of looking after your health. The diet has to be the correct type for your needs and as such a diet of processed foods is definitely not the way to go.

A lot of today’s diets seem to center around high animal proteins. It is debatable as to whether this is actually good for humans especially as they are omnivores. It also asks the question as to what actual benefits we get from the state of stressed animals being cooped up in farms waiting to be slaughtered.

Living in fear is not good for our health either but we seem to be constantly in fear of one thing or another. People are always telling us what is wrong and right for us by means of advertising campaigns. It is time that we decided ourselves what is good or bad for us all and took care of our own health.

Getting your skin exposed to adequate amounts of sunlight is actually beneficial to our health. But who profits from us not doing this?

Your health can also benefit from some relaxation time. It does not matter whether you spend time in your garden, walk in the park or even a day on the beach. Some nice fresh air will always do you good.

Homeopathic remedies can also help to boost our health. You could even learn some of these basic remedies at home.

Walking sneakers can be part of your womens dress shoes too!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alex_Ryan

http://EzineArticles.com/?Achieving-Optimum-Health&id=4458922

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. Health and Longevity Health and Longevity By Fernando Rio As we all know,...
2. Health Reform - Financial Impact Health Reform – Financial Impact By Taimur Qazi The financial...
3. Health Insurance Companies Adapt to Reform Through Accounting Schemes Health Insurance Companies Adapt to Reform Through Accounting Schemes By...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Bleeding can result even from daily activities such as cooking, gardening, or playing sports. Accidents happen and you must know how to treat your injury properly.

There are different forms of bleeding, which can range from nose bleeds and cuts to more serious ones such as bleeding from a head injury or stabbing.

Types of External Bleeding

The most common type of bleeding is capillary bleeding, which is a slow, oozing bright red blood flow caused by a light skin injury like an abrasion or laceration. This is generally not serious and is the easiest to treat. Another type is venous bleeding, as indicated by a rapid flow of bleeding with a darker red blood color caused by the puncture of a vein, a deep incision, or an avulsion. Lastly, arterial bleeding is one type that has bright red blood color with a rapid flow that spurts in a wave pattern. It stems from a deep cut, a puncture to the artery, or a laceration.

Step by Step Guide

For severe bleeding: the first step is to control the bleeding. Expose the wound by removing clothing to see where the blood is coming from. You have to apply pressure directly to the wound with the palm of your hand, using a clean cloth or pad. Do not apply light pressure as this will not stop or control the bleeding.

If the injury is on an arm or leg, raise it above heart level to lessen blood flow in the wounded area. It will help if the patient is lying down. Once the bleeding is controlled, you may put bandage securely and tightly over the wound area with a fresh and clean dressing. Do not use a rope or wire as a tourniquet to secure a bandage as this will result in more problems. If there is an embedded object that is causing the bleeding, do not attempt to remove it. Always remember that for serious injuries and prolonged bleeding (more than 10 minutes), it is better to bring the patient immediately to the hospital to see a doctor.

Always be ready for emergencies. Make sure that you have first aid supplies such as bandages, clean dressings, gloves, and plasters.

View another helpful injury prevention write-up by this author, concerning the basketball ankle brace at the shoulder support website.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeannie_Yiu

http://EzineArticles.com/?First-Aid-Steps-on-External-Bleeding&id=4461709

Share/Bookmark

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

How to Stay Healthy and Look Good

Have you ever wonder how you can actually stay healthy and sexy without doing any diet? I am in my mid-30 with two kids, a single mom and a full-time worker and yet I am proud to say that others think that I don’t look my age. A great compliment indeed, right?

Whether we like it or not as we aged we will gain or lose weight. Wrinkles and lines on your forehead will appear and a lot more imperfections. We may not turn back time to experience youth again but we can try to somehow slow down the aging process by staying healthy to look good always.

Here are some tips and advice that you can follow. It works for me and I think it will work for you too.

1. Drink plenty of water. When I tell you to drink at least 8 glasses of water I day, that doesn’t count coffee and juice. Do not make fruit juices a substitute to hydrate your body. The proper way to drink water is in between meals so your body can digest your food properly. Here’s a secret, drinking ice cold water can lose you 60-65 calories a day. Not bad, right. Just don’t overdo it okay.

2. Make sure to eat 5 times a day. Yes, you read that right, 5 times a day. But don’t get too excited since it will consist of a heavy breakfast to start your day, a light lunch to keep you going and a sensible meal at night don’t forget to have low calorie snacks in between so your body will not crave for more. Eat fruits instead of chips or burgers.

3. Exercise is still the key. Well, I didn’t say you need to bulk up or join a gym class. You can do it at home. Going up and down the stairs for 15 minutes can flatten your belly and strengthen your leg muscles. You can do brisk walking outside for 10 minutes and it will burn those extra fats. Swimming is also good for the body and the lungs. You can think of something else as long as you are moving and your body is doing some stretching.

4. And most of all, Sleep. Make sure your body gets enough rest to start another day. 6-8 hours of sleep a day may be impossible for someone who is always on the go. But if you have time, take a nap. Napping helps refresh the mind and body and give us ample energy to continue our day.

I’m a full time student and live with my husband Brad and 2 year old baby girl Yoli. We have 2 cats and I’ve always been fascinated with the makeup and beauty industry. I love to do research on a number of topics, beauty and makeup being my favorite. Check out my other blogs at http://stretchmarkcoverup.net where you will find the latest information on Stretch Mark Cover Up

Article Source:  How to Stay Healthy and Look Good

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. Tips For Fitness Tips For Fitness By Lere P. Adiatu You should drink...
2. The 5 Healthy Benefits of Daily Running The 5 Healthy Benefits of Daily Running By Joseph Pressley...
3. The First Step to a Healthy Relationship The First Step to a Healthy Relationship By Payo W...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Soap has really been one of the most essential toiletries ever invented. When we go out and go to the market to buy soap what do you think are you really buying? Have you heard expensive TV commercials which guarantee soaps that make you beautiful? Or that keep you moisturized the whole day? There are soaps that act like deodorant soaps too. But what exactly are you buying?

From what these companies that sell soap say is: soap is one of the most popular cleansing materials. They are merely made out of sodium salts with oils which are natural and acids and guess what? FAT! There are standard regulations that a certain cleaning product cannot become classified as soap unless it contains the said contents.

I read this article once about a dad who had a son. His son suffered infections and allergies but no one knew what neither triggered nor caused them. He had said the kid had several surgeries in which had cleared his sinuses. After two weeks the allergies began to begin again. Still neither hospital nor doctor was able to distinguish the cause. The poor kid had several allergy tests. When the results came in, more than eighty things caused all the allergies and sicknesses. Some of them were typical dust, pet fir; pine trees and the list went on. Everyone had made a food journal of what the kid ate for a month and too see if we had allergies to food as well.

You know what actually caused the infections and sicknesses? The chemicals which were used in everyday products to preserve them like those typical creams and cosmetics. The list went to to and from hand lotions, disinfectant sanitizers and even beauty power. In the end they learned that the soap their children used had chemicals too which were bad for the kid.

After a year of serious sinus problems you know what they did? They disinfected everything at home and replaced the soaps thy used into homemade, yes, that’s right! Homemade lavender and olive oil soap.

The bottom line is we do not know what these highly rich manufacturing companies put in what they make and sell. Some of them may be highly allergenic. Some of these chemicals may even stick to our soap dispensers in which may spread the chemicals to other soaps. Making your own bath soap is actually better because you would know what you are putting. Having good shower soap dispensers that cleanse the chemicals your soap has is also another good thing.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kim_Selorio

http://EzineArticles.com/?So,-What-Exactly-Are-in-Those-Soaps-We-Buy?&id=4454129

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. Which Foods Are Better to Buy Organic? Which Foods Are Better to Buy Organic? By Caterina Christakos...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

The word “confrontation,” makes some of us very uncomfortable. When we contemplate talking to a friend about something they did that upset us, we’re filled with dread. We believe that confrontation is a recipe for disaster but in reality, the opposite is true. Sharing our concerns with our friends can actually improve our relationships, while holding back our feelings usually leads to greater problems.

Many of us don’t have a positive model of inter-personal confrontation. We grew up watching unproductive arguments between family members and in the media. We observed pointless nagging or explosions of tears; petulant tantrums or vicious contempt. We saw few problems being resolved and much pain being generated. No wonder we’re afraid of talking to our friends about how we feel.

Still, it doesn’t help to avoid dealing with the things that bother us in our relationships. When we hold back our feelings they accumulate internally, transforming into resentment and then into anger. Eventually, the anger begins to leak out as nasty remarks or passive-aggressive behaviors. Sometimes, it even explodes outward in a tirade against the friend. Our intention was to prevent conflict, but suppressing our needs and feelings tends to back-fire on us.

Another result of avoiding confrontation is that we become emotionally disconnected from our friends. When we aren’t honest with them about what’s bothering us, they don’t get to know who we really are. Not sharing our true feelings causes our relationships to stagnate or to break apart. Again, not the outcome we were hoping for when we chose to keep things to ourselves.

Obviously, the ideal is to learn how to communicate effectively, but this is not always easy: It’s one thing to tell our friends how much we care and how happy we are in the relationship; it’s another to express dissatisfaction or worse yet, anger.

We fear rejection, believing that if we’re not “nice” or “pleasing,” our friend will abandon us. We forget that a real friend won’t disappear at the first sign of difficulty; especially if we express ourselves in a reasonable and respectful manner.

If we were frustrated as children in our attempts to express our needs to the grown-ups in our life, we will grow to expect this in our adult relationships. If the people we grew up with were hostile, defensive or unreasonable when we tried to tell them that something was wrong, we become convinced as adults that our friends will behave similarly. Of course, this isn’t the case.

In fact, talking to our friends about the things they’ve done to upset us is one of the best ways for us to discover who they really are. If our friends are compassionate and responsive to what we tell them and are willing to change the problematic behaviors, it’s proof that they truly care about us.

If, on the other hand, they deny what they’ve done, get angry at us for bringing it up, or tell us that we’re over-reacting, this demonstrates that they aren’t willing or able to negotiate the relationship in good faith. Confrontation, for this reason, is an ideal way of distinguishing between our real and false friends. The only relationships at risk from confrontation are the ones not worth maintaining.

So, a few pointers on how to go about the scary business of confrontation: Most importantly, start by being affirming. Let your friend know how much you value the relationship, and that this is why you’re sharing your concerns.

Rather than being accusatory, simply tell them how their behavior made you feel. Make statements like, “When you were texting while I was trying to talk to you, it hurt me. It felt like you didn’t care about what I was saying.”

Avoid saying things like, “You always…” or “You never…” Likewise, it’s not a good idea to engage in name-calling. Remember, confrontation is supposed to resolve a problem; not to create another one.

Choose an appropriate time and place where you can have a meaningful conversation without any distractions, and where your friend isn’t likely to get embarrassed or become defensive; that is, not in front of other people.

Then, be quiet and pay attention to your friend’s reaction. How they respond will provide you with invaluable information. If you have confronted them in a loving, respectful and reasonable way, a good friend should respond similarly. Any other type of response will show you that it’s unlikely you’ll be able to resolve any issues with this person.

Confrontation is initially a daunting proposition but like anything else, the more often you try, the easier it will be and the better you’ll get at it. After a few successful attempts at talking to your friends about your needs and feelings, it will become second nature. Your friends will know where you stand, and you’ll be in the privileged position of knowing who your true friends really are.

(C) Marcia Sirota MD, 2010

http://www.ruthlesscompassioninstitute.com
Ruthless Compassion Institute on Facebook
@rcinstitute on Twitter

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marcia_Sirota

http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Talk-to-Your-Friends-About-Your-Feelings&id=4310691

Share/Bookmark

Related posts:

1. Saving Your Marriage When Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore - Crucial Advice For Wives! Saving Your Marriage When Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore...
2. Why Do Men Pull Away? Why Do Men Pull Away? By Payo W Perry There...
3. How Does Your Garden Grow? The Need For Healthy Relationship Boundaries How Does Your Garden Grow? The Need For Healthy Relationship...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.